Bronze and freckles flashed in gaps wrapped in green and my eyes couldn't resolve their source until I heard a titter from the bushes.
"That wee lad
he's up an' gonoff on us, gramma! Left your sweet Mae to pray for the sweetgrass and weeds all by her lonesome-
mayhaps he scrambled
*rustle*
a tussle out of thy branches, my tree
*rustle*
or mayhaps he's as tree as thee? Eh, now little lad? A skinny tree?
I know if I were a tree, I'd be-"
This mad person would near my bush, I knew it - this little beast of the wood with her words - and I had to escape before-
"Hey now, there's the boy!" A swish and whip of the branches above landed the beastling before my bush. Gasping, her, definitely a "her", smell sent cinnamon and cloves and garlic into my senses, and I couldn't remember when I'd last been able to smell so much-
"He's still as skinny as we seen him, too..." she complained, careening herself sideways to stick a filthy twig through a hole in my t-shirt. "Ah well, skinny is as skinny eats, I guess. And what skinny sweets treated thee, huh my lad? Close your mouth, dear, there are flies." She waved her stick at what presumably were flies, and carelessly yanked a strap of her overlarge tank top back onto the point of her shoulder.
"There's roast chicken and greens at the house if you're feeling hungry for something dead. The big 'un's'll tell you where they found you and whatnot, I'm just the message-person." Her eyes wouldn't stay still, and she did a hop step to the side to challenge a hanging vine with her twig.
"And then- " -wap- " you can figure out-" -wap- " what you'll do with the rest of your night- " -wapwap- " Ha!" wap!
"Hey!" I wailed.
"-and if you're lucky, we'll get to practice my swordplay a little-" -swish- "Drat-you're-fast! before bedtime!"
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Gypsy in the Wood - unlabeled part of the Gypsy series, and temporarily untangled from the brain
Dappled trickles of sunshine mingled with wind-rustled leaves and birdsong drew me back into consciousness. I couldn't remember why these artifacts of reality felt so absurd to me, even as my muddled recovering mind fumbled at their meaning in clumsy anxiety. The breaths I was taking were sweet on my tongue but the smorgasbord of scents assaulting my olfactory organs evoked pungent depths foreign and repulsive to me. I could smell raw shit on the soft breeze that touched my face, fermenting vegetation, and the pregnant redolence of bursting, blooming life. It was all wrong - the place was wrong, my place in this world was wrong, I didn't belong here and there were beings here that didn't want me to witness their becoming.
I struggled internally to blink, to cough, to wretch myself out of being in this place with the suffocating embrace of life around me, and it took me days and moments to realize that I hadn't moved a muscle.
Moss and a verdant fringe were my bed, and my left hand rested numbly in the meandering tricklet of a creek as it passed silently by. Small creatures were disturbed in their doings by the disturbance of my woolen gathering of limbs. Rising with grace out of the question, I made a multi-stage dance in my fight against gravity. How strange, I thought - my feet are bare. When did I last walk in my bare feet?
I struggled internally to blink, to cough, to wretch myself out of being in this place with the suffocating embrace of life around me, and it took me days and moments to realize that I hadn't moved a muscle.
Moss and a verdant fringe were my bed, and my left hand rested numbly in the meandering tricklet of a creek as it passed silently by. Small creatures were disturbed in their doings by the disturbance of my woolen gathering of limbs. Rising with grace out of the question, I made a multi-stage dance in my fight against gravity. How strange, I thought - my feet are bare. When did I last walk in my bare feet?
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Thoughts on Culture Pt. 1
I've been spending most of my Russian lessons being regaled by my Russian teacher's horror at the way the "next generation" is turning out - most of which is the cliche horror of the older generation seeing three generations ahead and wondering if they'll survive without the "values" of their own generation - and fending off attacks and finding connections between the generations has put me in an interesting frame of mind:
The story of the next generation isn't centered around finding meaning in a world that is drowning in its own poisons - it's about the next generation progressing towards enlightenment when struggle and competition are hard to come by. I'm not talking about trying to find a job or struggling to pay rent or struggling to pay off debt, although those are micro-struggles in and of themselves. I'm talking about the struggles that previous generations had to deal with that turned them into such - dare I say? - hard-asses.
Famine, disease, starvation, abuse, subjugation, and enslavement - all of which forced a hardness, a toughness, a strictness of purpose and of action and of ideology that can't be preserved in the wishy-washy, fairytale, easiness of today's youth. I know my youth was too easy. I know the young lives of many are too easy, because we simply can't make it out on our own. Maybe there has come a time when we realize that we can't live the same way our parents lived because the world is much more different and stranger than their world, and the philosophy the world taught them to understand is only the merest glimpse of the philosophy we must apply to ourselves in order to brighten our own future.
So where does that leave us? It leaves us with the task of making ourselves better, making our practices better, and making the strictness with which we treat ourselves better - far better - than we've previously imagined. We must learn more about how to survive in this asphalt wasteland our parents have left us. We must learn more about how to go forward and etch out our own niches and make a place for ourselves in this granite world. We must learn to accept our blood and tears, and be grateful that we've experienced a life that requires giving ourselves completely. And if we are not giving ourselves completely and continuously progressing and evolving to fit our world as it is, then we must change how we are and what makes us who we are every day. We must prepare ourselves more and prepare our children more for the inevitable challenges that will come. Because if there's anything humanity is in need of in the near future, it's a weeding out. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be left stranded without a paddle in an ocean of chaos when the time of reckoning is at hand.
The challenges that will come will be born of the weakness that have been rotting the world: the ease of communication, the easy access to food and sustenance, the easy access to transportation, etc. We are all dependent on and take for granted so much that is completely necessary to our survival. And because we take it for granted, we are completely unprepared for its absence. The deadly sentiment that causes us to feel that we "deserve" security or happiness or sustenance; the deadly sentiment that indulgence or self-expression or acceptance of adversity are higher values than self-denial, than morality, than an understanding without acceptance or personal judgment; the sentiment that disagreeing with a worldview means hating those who hold it; all of these are the seeds of self-destruction and the weaknesses of individuals that cannot understand themselves let along change themselves for the better.
There is a necessity for a meaningful cultural development that does not depend on the modus operandi of the strict and self-denying cultures of ages past. Eastern philosophy of mind and of spirit has value, but is only part of the picture. The moral structures of Christianity have extreme value, but the cultural contexts by which they have been implemented are outmoded and ineffectual in swaying a culture of affluence. So where am I to turn?
Subtlety of expression and of action, value placed in understanding nuances of minutest detail in a word or in a glance, the adherence to principles that define general laws of reality - and from them generate complexity of behavior. My model is somewhat reflected in the courtly societies described in Dune, where the merest twitch of an eye can signify dishonesty or fear, where fear in a non-peer might signify cause for fear and require an increase in alertness to the social situation at hand.
High culture being the generative complexity that results when groups of individuals incessantly practice the values and traditions of a culture in order to better express the foundational tenets the culture upholds. The higher the culture, the greater potential its proponents have for complex action and meaningful expression. A new and prevailing culture must have foundations that produce the possibility of complexity and deeply meaningful expression.
Each of the rich systems of culture have a couple of things in common - a sense of honor, a sense of duty, a sense of self-denial and self-discipline - but each diverge in their alliance or what their alliance embodies. China, Victorian England, Ancient Greece, Rome, Holy Rus etc. all had periods when a) the beauty and fulfillment of their prevailing philosophies bloomed into magnificent production, and b) the prevailing philosophies were taken to places that revealed the deep weaknesses in their execution.
... I'm going somewhere with this, but I will continue later.
The story of the next generation isn't centered around finding meaning in a world that is drowning in its own poisons - it's about the next generation progressing towards enlightenment when struggle and competition are hard to come by. I'm not talking about trying to find a job or struggling to pay rent or struggling to pay off debt, although those are micro-struggles in and of themselves. I'm talking about the struggles that previous generations had to deal with that turned them into such - dare I say? - hard-asses.
Famine, disease, starvation, abuse, subjugation, and enslavement - all of which forced a hardness, a toughness, a strictness of purpose and of action and of ideology that can't be preserved in the wishy-washy, fairytale, easiness of today's youth. I know my youth was too easy. I know the young lives of many are too easy, because we simply can't make it out on our own. Maybe there has come a time when we realize that we can't live the same way our parents lived because the world is much more different and stranger than their world, and the philosophy the world taught them to understand is only the merest glimpse of the philosophy we must apply to ourselves in order to brighten our own future.
So where does that leave us? It leaves us with the task of making ourselves better, making our practices better, and making the strictness with which we treat ourselves better - far better - than we've previously imagined. We must learn more about how to survive in this asphalt wasteland our parents have left us. We must learn more about how to go forward and etch out our own niches and make a place for ourselves in this granite world. We must learn to accept our blood and tears, and be grateful that we've experienced a life that requires giving ourselves completely. And if we are not giving ourselves completely and continuously progressing and evolving to fit our world as it is, then we must change how we are and what makes us who we are every day. We must prepare ourselves more and prepare our children more for the inevitable challenges that will come. Because if there's anything humanity is in need of in the near future, it's a weeding out. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be left stranded without a paddle in an ocean of chaos when the time of reckoning is at hand.
The challenges that will come will be born of the weakness that have been rotting the world: the ease of communication, the easy access to food and sustenance, the easy access to transportation, etc. We are all dependent on and take for granted so much that is completely necessary to our survival. And because we take it for granted, we are completely unprepared for its absence. The deadly sentiment that causes us to feel that we "deserve" security or happiness or sustenance; the deadly sentiment that indulgence or self-expression or acceptance of adversity are higher values than self-denial, than morality, than an understanding without acceptance or personal judgment; the sentiment that disagreeing with a worldview means hating those who hold it; all of these are the seeds of self-destruction and the weaknesses of individuals that cannot understand themselves let along change themselves for the better.
There is a necessity for a meaningful cultural development that does not depend on the modus operandi of the strict and self-denying cultures of ages past. Eastern philosophy of mind and of spirit has value, but is only part of the picture. The moral structures of Christianity have extreme value, but the cultural contexts by which they have been implemented are outmoded and ineffectual in swaying a culture of affluence. So where am I to turn?
Subtlety of expression and of action, value placed in understanding nuances of minutest detail in a word or in a glance, the adherence to principles that define general laws of reality - and from them generate complexity of behavior. My model is somewhat reflected in the courtly societies described in Dune, where the merest twitch of an eye can signify dishonesty or fear, where fear in a non-peer might signify cause for fear and require an increase in alertness to the social situation at hand.
High culture being the generative complexity that results when groups of individuals incessantly practice the values and traditions of a culture in order to better express the foundational tenets the culture upholds. The higher the culture, the greater potential its proponents have for complex action and meaningful expression. A new and prevailing culture must have foundations that produce the possibility of complexity and deeply meaningful expression.
Each of the rich systems of culture have a couple of things in common - a sense of honor, a sense of duty, a sense of self-denial and self-discipline - but each diverge in their alliance or what their alliance embodies. China, Victorian England, Ancient Greece, Rome, Holy Rus etc. all had periods when a) the beauty and fulfillment of their prevailing philosophies bloomed into magnificent production, and b) the prevailing philosophies were taken to places that revealed the deep weaknesses in their execution.
... I'm going somewhere with this, but I will continue later.
Having met my weight goal after a non-restricted day, the only thing I can attribute the success to is the incredibly long sleep I had last night (which, embarrassingly, kept me from going to church). I was a little fuzzy this morning, so I pounded down an intense protein shake (which included vitamin C) and a mug of coffee.
Spent the morning with a little mind-stress on Cook, Serve, Delicious! - frustratingly intense, and yet incredibly addictive (probably a link in there somewhere - masochistic tendencies?). I've switched to the far more educational and informationally dense Europa Universalis IV - an early modern strategy game based around Europe - and Crusader Kings II, similar to the previous except set in the Feudal Era. These games are preposterously detailed, and will take a while to master. But on the plus side, mastering them will give me an intensely detailed picture of European geography and the political intricacies of the era.
I keep telling myself that I'd love for my future children to have educational and yet entertaining and fulfilling games to play on their free time and using this as justification for buying games on Steam (since, if the reader is unaware, Steam keys are held for life and games can be downloaded from their servers if your computer were to kick the bucket). Very few of these games, however, are worthy of meeting this justification - Europa Universalis IV and Crusader Kings II are definitely worthy. They're graduate level history lessons packed into mind-bogglingly complex interactive simulations. Example: I'm just going through the tutorial right now, but I'm learning how, as the King of Scotland, I can use my half-brother Malmure - a Scottish Earl - as a piece in the political game by arranging a betrothal to an Earl from a neighboring and conflicting kingdom. Or arranging a marriage for him. Or imprisoning him. Or giving him a vassalage. Or giving him an honorary title. Agh! What do all of these things do? Such subtlety in interactivity!
Anyway. I should probably start studying my Russian pretty soon. And I should probably write something real in the future. My mind has wandered lately... stuck in this world again. Sigh...
Spent the morning with a little mind-stress on Cook, Serve, Delicious! - frustratingly intense, and yet incredibly addictive (probably a link in there somewhere - masochistic tendencies?). I've switched to the far more educational and informationally dense Europa Universalis IV - an early modern strategy game based around Europe - and Crusader Kings II, similar to the previous except set in the Feudal Era. These games are preposterously detailed, and will take a while to master. But on the plus side, mastering them will give me an intensely detailed picture of European geography and the political intricacies of the era.
I keep telling myself that I'd love for my future children to have educational and yet entertaining and fulfilling games to play on their free time and using this as justification for buying games on Steam (since, if the reader is unaware, Steam keys are held for life and games can be downloaded from their servers if your computer were to kick the bucket). Very few of these games, however, are worthy of meeting this justification - Europa Universalis IV and Crusader Kings II are definitely worthy. They're graduate level history lessons packed into mind-bogglingly complex interactive simulations. Example: I'm just going through the tutorial right now, but I'm learning how, as the King of Scotland, I can use my half-brother Malmure - a Scottish Earl - as a piece in the political game by arranging a betrothal to an Earl from a neighboring and conflicting kingdom. Or arranging a marriage for him. Or imprisoning him. Or giving him a vassalage. Or giving him an honorary title. Agh! What do all of these things do? Such subtlety in interactivity!
Anyway. I should probably start studying my Russian pretty soon. And I should probably write something real in the future. My mind has wandered lately... stuck in this world again. Sigh...
Friday, July 25, 2014
My mind is a cotton ball suspended three inches behind my vision at the moment. I feel like I'm looking through paper towel rolls out onto the world, and I think it's because I haven't eaten a whole lot today. And possibly also because I didn't get a full eight hours of sleep? Although I certainly hope that I haven't become that fragile.
It's probably just a symptom of going to work early this morning sans my usual waking period. I've been mostly zonked all day.
My weight continues to drop, thankfully. Current low is 194.3, and I'm thankful for progress (although annoyed that it isn't faster - patience is not a virtue of mine when it comes to such things). On a related note, my ketone strips no longer reveal that I'm in ketosis (although I obviously am) - I've read that once ketosis is extended, the body produces ketones that the strips cannot detect. Strange.
I'm having a conversation with my cousin about evolution, which is interesting considering the reflection of my own studies in Christianity-meets-science over the past few months. A God-performed evolution model is so appealing to me, and yet it seems to completely fly in the face of the writings of many of the holy fathers. Still, there is far, far too much evidence supporting a) mutations of beings into beings unable to reproduce with one another (i.e., different species) and leading to incredible diversification, and that b) the universe and our world are immensely older than literally-read Sola Scriptura evidence would suggest (i.e., older than 10,000 years).
The evidence of this, despite what many people believe, IS actually revealed in the fossil record. The "gaps" are being filled the more fossils we recover, but fossils are rare enough that there may always be gaps in the diversification chain. Complete and undamaged fossils are preposterously hard to find, extract, and study, and doing so accurately requires specialists from a long list of fields. Despite all of this, it's pretty fair to say that a team of specialists studying fossils based on their individual knowledge can put together a picture of when the creature lived, how it looked (and possibly behaved), what it ate, and where it lies on the grand family tree of life as a whole.
Humanity's place on the tree - and the direct line of mutations that occurred to allow us to be the way we are - is incredibly long and complex. But many of the major mutations that make us unique stuck with us over a very, very extended period of time.
But yeah, I could talk forever about this and not get bored. However, I'm fuzzy and I haven't studied this enough to be certain I'm being accurate. So I guess that's enough rambling on for today.
It's probably just a symptom of going to work early this morning sans my usual waking period. I've been mostly zonked all day.
My weight continues to drop, thankfully. Current low is 194.3, and I'm thankful for progress (although annoyed that it isn't faster - patience is not a virtue of mine when it comes to such things). On a related note, my ketone strips no longer reveal that I'm in ketosis (although I obviously am) - I've read that once ketosis is extended, the body produces ketones that the strips cannot detect. Strange.
I'm having a conversation with my cousin about evolution, which is interesting considering the reflection of my own studies in Christianity-meets-science over the past few months. A God-performed evolution model is so appealing to me, and yet it seems to completely fly in the face of the writings of many of the holy fathers. Still, there is far, far too much evidence supporting a) mutations of beings into beings unable to reproduce with one another (i.e., different species) and leading to incredible diversification, and that b) the universe and our world are immensely older than literally-read Sola Scriptura evidence would suggest (i.e., older than 10,000 years).
The evidence of this, despite what many people believe, IS actually revealed in the fossil record. The "gaps" are being filled the more fossils we recover, but fossils are rare enough that there may always be gaps in the diversification chain. Complete and undamaged fossils are preposterously hard to find, extract, and study, and doing so accurately requires specialists from a long list of fields. Despite all of this, it's pretty fair to say that a team of specialists studying fossils based on their individual knowledge can put together a picture of when the creature lived, how it looked (and possibly behaved), what it ate, and where it lies on the grand family tree of life as a whole.
Humanity's place on the tree - and the direct line of mutations that occurred to allow us to be the way we are - is incredibly long and complex. But many of the major mutations that make us unique stuck with us over a very, very extended period of time.
But yeah, I could talk forever about this and not get bored. However, I'm fuzzy and I haven't studied this enough to be certain I'm being accurate. So I guess that's enough rambling on for today.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Philosophy of Life, the Universe, and Everything
Forget scholarly writing – I’m just going to
describe my opinions.
Where
to begin? Well, let’s begin big and get small.
I
know many fellow Orthodox Christians that disagree with many of my fundamental
beliefs. This is partially because I spent a lot of time working on what I
believed by myself, and came to many conclusions that I haven’t yet found
backing for in the writings of the Holy Fathers/Ancient Christian Writers from
the beginning of Christianity. Many of these beliefs can be stated simply. Here
are some examples:
A) God created/creates a rational universe in
which we are meant to thrive. Or, put another way, we are rational beings
because our universe is a rational place and God has made it thus. And it is
good.
B) The mechanism by which we – as humans – became self-aware
(and more importantly, aware of God) is secondary to the fact itself: that we
can become aware of God, aware of goodness, and aware of how to become closer
to God. However, the aforementioned mechanism, as all things natural and
naturally beautiful and meaningful, can serve to grant us greater appreciation
for the complexity and beauty of God’s universe. (In case the reader is unaware
of my views, I’m a pretty firm believer in the compatibility of Christianity
and the theory of evolution).
C) To a greater or lesser extent, most sin derives
from violations of the Golden Rule – that is, violations of the rule which dictates that one
ought not harm others or act in such a way that harm may come to others thereby.
Unfortunately, the surface connotations of this rule do not imply that one
ought to be strict with oneself or restrict action that seems personal and
private (i.e., those actions scoffed at by non-Christians as silly or unnecessarily/meaninglessly
restrictive). However, the beauty of this rule (and of its reverberations in
the complexity of this universe) comes from the implication that by restricting
oneself, we are in complete control of the effects we cause in the world around
us. No thought escapes introspection, no word from our lips sounds without
caution, and the unintended profanations of habit and neglect are not created
by the inherent contradictions in private behavior.
D) Given A, B, and C, one might be able to come to
the conclusion that two of the most important goals of the human species are to
1) perfect one’s own behavior, habits, and beliefs about the world (A and C),
and 2) pass these behaviors, habits, and beliefs to biological children who
will further the search for perfection.
E) This might seem like a logical leap, but I can elaborate
on my statements in D): evolution (B) is absolutely predicated on reproduction
and adaptation to environment. The most distinct feature of evolution is the
fact that those who do not reproduce are not present in the generations to come
– their unique genetic contributions are absent, and they are essentially
culling themselves from future generations of human beings. This means that,
were humanity or Earth to reach a crisis, the beneficial contributions of every
individual will be put to the ultimate test. Survival of the species would be
in jeopardy, and those that chose not to have children haven’t shown up to the
party (ironically, these number among the academia and intelligentsia, thus
robbing us of … well, ok, probably not a whole lot). When it comes down to it,
I want my children or their children or their children to be a) culturally
prepared, b) physically prepared, and c) spiritually prepared to survive,
flourish, and soldier on when the going gets tough.
The last thing I want is to be one of the billions
of dead branches on the massive family tree of humanity.
Anyway, that’s the beginning of my philosophy.
Continuing on requires combining different portions of the above, which would
take a lot longer. I may actually refer back to what I’ve written here if I
felt the need to expand on the above. Which I might. I like to hear my voice
typed.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
2014 07 22
I can think of no purpose more fitting for this blogspace - nor more self-centered and self-aggrandizing - than to make it a venue for the expression of my personal ideas and philosophies that I seem to repeat endlessly to strangers and friends and coworkers. It's been so long since I've made a real attempt at scholarly work - real scholarly work, not just the parroted drivel I defecated for the pleasure of my professors - that I'm afraid that my opinions will come out garbled, full of fallacies and self-contradiction. I welcome this, because if people read this post and comment their disapproval ... communication, revision, and, above all, self-improvement may occur.
But what first topic? Hmmm...
But what first topic? Hmmm...
Sunday, July 20, 2014
2014 07 20 - Some pieces of Heinlein
I think I'm an insane person.
The closer I look at myself, the more I realize that I too readily interweave hope, expectation, ambition, and desire - until my deepest desires are entertained as realistic expectations, but, once broken by reality, only become transparent to reform into new expectations in the future.
My thoughts have been caught up in some of my central principles of late. Many of these principles are enforced by the correlation between my views and the views expressed by Heinlein in his novels. Admittedly, some of my own views are shameless mimicries of his beliefs; I hold no shame in admitting this, as many of his beliefs are the result of pure rationality and supported by the beauty I see in their connotations.
Overwhelming beauty. Many I frankly do not agree with - he was a stark agnostic, swinging towards militant agnostic, with a distaste for organized religion - but where he errs I can forgive him (as he writes in one of his books: "I don't know who's turning the crank - I'm just glad He doesn't stop.").
I feel like basking in some of these correlations, so I'm going to post a few:
From: 'The Notebooks of Lazarus Long' and 'Time Enough for Love: The Lives of Lazarus Long'
"Work is not an end in itself; there must always be time enough for love!"
"A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld."
"Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny."
"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
"If the universe has any purpose more important than topping the woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I've never heard of it."
"Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events."
"Rub her feet."
"Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary."
"The more you love, the more you can love — and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just."
"What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!"
"Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long before he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money — but long on hugs."
"Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other 'sins' are invented nonsense."
“'I came, I saw, she conquered.' The original Latin seems to have been garbled.”
“A community where everyone is a ruthless murderer, with handy access to death-dealing devices, is a very polite community.”
“Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.”
“There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.”
“There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress
“There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.”
“There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress
“Love" is a that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy”
“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
“Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a great artist--a master--and that is what Auguste Rodin was--can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is . . . and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be . . . and more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo, or even you, see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
“Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a great artist--a master--and that is what Auguste Rodin was--can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is . . . and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be . . . and more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo, or even you, see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
“Women are amazing creatures-sweet, soft, gentle, and far more savage than we are.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress
There are many, many more passages and quotes that I firmly agree with, but they are not as short and concise as the ones lining the chapters and filling the offshoot title 'The Notebooks of Lazarus Long' - which is just the filler, quote chapters snipped out from Time Enough for Love.
― Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress
There are many, many more passages and quotes that I firmly agree with, but they are not as short and concise as the ones lining the chapters and filling the offshoot title 'The Notebooks of Lazarus Long' - which is just the filler, quote chapters snipped out from Time Enough for Love.
The Belltower: Part 3 (unedited draft, previously unposted)
While walking through the patch of forest north of the monastery, James considered the implications of the monk's words. He felt his own being as what it was; a separate corporeal body his spirit suspended and directed in space; a dynamically interactive being in a realm of intricate and vibrant surroundings; and each life a vibrant bell that tolled its own language and attuned to the languages surrounding it.
He was content to stride through the cathedral of living bells, augmenting their song with one of his own: a hummed melody remembered from childhood, and days where nothing could go wrong. And his purpose gradually became clear to him; to protect this place and these people from harm, and to do so for as long he could bear the burden. He would do so for the rest of his life if need be. And what a vibrant life it would be.
He was content to stride through the cathedral of living bells, augmenting their song with one of his own: a hummed melody remembered from childhood, and days where nothing could go wrong. And his purpose gradually became clear to him; to protect this place and these people from harm, and to do so for as long he could bear the burden. He would do so for the rest of his life if need be. And what a vibrant life it would be.
New Beginnings
Whereas this blog was meant to describe the efforts of my meager attempts at prose - to the exclusion of my usually introspective attempts at maintaining a regular and public journal space - I've decided that my public journal is in need of reawakening (and my carefully tended website is too high maintenance for taking on such duties). So, here I am.
It's Sunday, and I slept in. I spent yesterday doing not at all what I had meant to do, except for a lengthy run. Most of the time I spent watching movies... Today I'm antsy and energetic and restless. I want to do a full workout again, but want to save it for tomorrow morning. It's one of those times when it feels right to do the wrong thing, and the right thing feels wrong. Objectively speaking, my feelings might ultimately be correct.
I've spent no time writing and no time programming. I've got an idea that's as wide as a planet waiting to escape my head, and I can't figure out where the heck to start. I masticate and masticate at its edges, trying to gnaw the project down to manageable bits... but it's like trying to eat a dinosaur. I keep giving up and going back to doing the things I normally do to waste time and clear my head.
It doesn't help that there are so many other obfuscations bouncing around in my crowded skull the past few weeks. It's a full house of contradictions and insistent yearnings upstairs and tending to them each in turn means all is half done and done poorly, at that. The shameful thing is that, objectively, I've got it pretty easy to some. This gives me some inspiration to crank things out, but I haven't disciplined myself enough yet.
O Lord Jesus Christ, My God, Have Mercy On Me, A Sinner. This, my anthem, has helped me concentrate on the important things. It ducks me below the loud surface of my mind and brings me to that quiet place for introspection, merciless self-examination, and the humility to make serious changes to my lifestyle to better my life.
Christ, God made flesh, withhold your judgment and stay the consequences of my misguided actions. Forgive my transgressions for which I will be held accountable after death. Stay the onslaught of the passions and quench the burnings that arise in my flesh. I am weak and powerless to conquer the temptations which assail my hardened heart and mind. Open my heart to the Truth of Your kingdom, and guide me in the way of repentance.
In Your Name,
Amen.
It's Sunday, and I slept in. I spent yesterday doing not at all what I had meant to do, except for a lengthy run. Most of the time I spent watching movies... Today I'm antsy and energetic and restless. I want to do a full workout again, but want to save it for tomorrow morning. It's one of those times when it feels right to do the wrong thing, and the right thing feels wrong. Objectively speaking, my feelings might ultimately be correct.
I've spent no time writing and no time programming. I've got an idea that's as wide as a planet waiting to escape my head, and I can't figure out where the heck to start. I masticate and masticate at its edges, trying to gnaw the project down to manageable bits... but it's like trying to eat a dinosaur. I keep giving up and going back to doing the things I normally do to waste time and clear my head.
It doesn't help that there are so many other obfuscations bouncing around in my crowded skull the past few weeks. It's a full house of contradictions and insistent yearnings upstairs and tending to them each in turn means all is half done and done poorly, at that. The shameful thing is that, objectively, I've got it pretty easy to some. This gives me some inspiration to crank things out, but I haven't disciplined myself enough yet.
O Lord Jesus Christ, My God, Have Mercy On Me, A Sinner. This, my anthem, has helped me concentrate on the important things. It ducks me below the loud surface of my mind and brings me to that quiet place for introspection, merciless self-examination, and the humility to make serious changes to my lifestyle to better my life.
Christ, God made flesh, withhold your judgment and stay the consequences of my misguided actions. Forgive my transgressions for which I will be held accountable after death. Stay the onslaught of the passions and quench the burnings that arise in my flesh. I am weak and powerless to conquer the temptations which assail my hardened heart and mind. Open my heart to the Truth of Your kingdom, and guide me in the way of repentance.
In Your Name,
Amen.
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